Qui-Gon Jinn Posted July 1, 2006 Posted July 1, 2006 When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
netspy Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 chuck norris poate sa aplaude cu o singura manachuck norris poate sa dea foc la furnici cu lupa. NOAPTEA!!chuck norris a lovit odata un cal in barba..descendentzii acelui cal se numesc acum girafeun loc de parcare care arata "handicapat" nu este un loc de parcare pentru handicapatzi, este defapt este un avertisment, ca locul ala e a lu chuck norris iar cei care parcheaza acolo vor fi lovitzi pana vor deveni handicapatzichuck norris s-a nascut intr-o cabana construita de elchuck norris a inchitzit odata un borcan de somnifere. l-au facut sa clipeascachuck norris se poate sinucide si dupaia traiestechuck norris omoara 14 oameni albi pe zi DOAR ca sa dovedeasca ca nu e rasistchuck norris doneaza regulat sange la crucea rosie, dar niciodata al luicand vrea chuck norris sa doneze sange el nu cere seringa, el cere un shotgun si cateva zeci de buchete de floriboogieman inainte sa doarma, se uita in dulap de chuck norrischuck norris doarme cu lumina aprinsa..nu pt ca ii e frica de intuneric ci pentru ca intunericului ii e frica de elcea mai scurta cale catre inima unui om este pumnul lui chuck norriszambetul lui chuck norris a readus odata un catzelush la viatzalacrimile lui chuck norris pot vindeca orice boala inclusiv cancerul. pacat ca nu a plans niciodata.chuck norris are o casutza de vacantza pe luna.intr-o camera obisnuita sunt 1 242 de obiecte pe care chuck norris le foloseste ca sa te poata ucide, inclusiv camera.chuck norris nu are ceas, el hotaraste cat e timpu.daca se intampla ca chuck norris sa intarzie vreodata, timpul ar face bine sa mearga mai incet si el.chuck norris a ars odata o padure cand facea experimente cu apa.superman are o pereche de pijamale cu chuck norris.chuck norris a mers pe strada odata avand o erectzie masiva. nu au fost supravietzuitoricand chuck norris face flotari, nu se ridica pe el, el impinge pamantul in jos.chuck norris e cunoscut pentru modestia lui dar recunoaste ca este a 8a minune a lumii.casa lui chuck norris nu are usi sau ferestre, are numai ziduri prin care acesta trece.chuck norris este IN SPATELE TAUtu traiesti pentru ca te-a lasat chuck norris in viatzadaca te uitzi in oglinda si zici chuck norris de 3 ori, va veni si itzi va omora toata familia, dar cel putzin il vei vedea pe chuck norrisdaca il vezi pe chuck norris, el te vede pe tine. daca nu il vezi pe chuck norris s-ar putea sa fii la cateva secunde de moarte.chuck norris e atat de rapid incat incat poate alerga inconjurul pamantului si isi poate da un pumn in ceafa
Adi Posted July 2, 2006 Posted July 2, 2006 .. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f**king Indian.Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f**k down.Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.__________________Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
b.dragos Posted July 3, 2006 Posted July 3, 2006 Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" asta e penala rauUna inventata de mine : Chuck Norris alearga atat de repede incat daca se caca de la etaju 100 al empire state building poate alerga jos sa si vada curul cacandu se ! ( este adaptata de fapt)
Guest TheDahaka Posted April 30, 2007 Posted April 30, 2007 :D Am inventat si eu niste bancuri cu Chuck NoRRis:* Why did Chuck Norris cross the road ? To roundhouse the other side.* Chuck Norris always talks about himself in the first person . Nobody adresses Chuck Norris , not even Chuck Norris.* A journalist was killed today by Chuck Norris . Nobody takes anything from Chuck Norris , not even an interview.* How many police men do you need to change a lighbulb . None ... Chuck Norris can roundhouse in the dark.* Roundhouse kicks are banned in school because they are considered white weapons.* The US doesn't need nuclear weapons ... They have Chuck Norris.* Why did Chuck Norris cross the road ? To roundhouse the other side. AGAIN ! Why ? because he is Chuck Norris , dah !
ieih Posted May 1, 2007 Posted May 1, 2007 nu masina il duce pe chuck norris, chuck norris duce masina.cand apare un uragan, inseamna ca a stranutat chuck norris.
ieih Posted May 4, 2007 Posted May 4, 2007 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f**k down.When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the less painful way to die.If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow down.Chuck Norris doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Chuck tells it to.If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.
techno Posted May 5, 2007 Posted May 5, 2007 Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.Chuck Norris can speak braille. !!!!!HAHAHAHAGiraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Guest Vyktor Posted February 1, 2008 Posted February 1, 2008 Chuck Norris doesn`t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris a facut sex cu o femeie intr-un camion. O picatura de sperma a atins camionul... Asa sa nascut Optimus Prime. :kar: poate ne bate chuck fiindk postam bancuri despre el. De ce in calendarul lui Chuck Norris se trece direct de la 31 martie la 2 aprilie? Nimeni nu il pacaleste de Chuck Norris! De ce doarme Chuck Norris cu lumina aprinsa? Nu pt ca ii e teama de intuneric, ci pt ca intunericului ii e frica de el. Chuck Norris nu va face niciodata infarct. Inima nu e atat de tampita sa-l atace. Chuck Norris joaca ruleta ruseasca cu pistolul plin. Si castiga mereu. In loc de picaturi de ochi, Chuck Norris foloseste sos picant. Cand Chuck Norris taie ceapa, nu plange el, ci ceapa. Nu exista lesbiene. Doar femei care nu l-au cunoscut inca pe Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doarme cu perna sub pistol. Chuck Norris a fost deja pe Marte, de aceea acolo nu exista viata. Chuck Norris nu poate sa iubeasca, el poate doar sa nu ucida. Chuck Norris stranuta cu ochii deschisi. Cand merge la culcare, Bau-Bau se uita in dulap si sub pat sa nu fie cumva acolo Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris poate sa aplaude cu o singura mana. Chuck Norris nu doarme. El asteapta. Chuck Norris poate sa dea foc la furnici cu lupa. Noaptea! Chuck Norris a lovit odata un cal in barba. Descendentii acelui cal se numesc acum girafe. Chuck Norris s-a nascut intr-o cabana construita de el. Chuck Norris a inghitit odata un borcan de somnifere. L-au facut sa clipeasca. Chuck Norris doneaza regulat sange la crucea rosie, dar niciodata al lui. Chuck Norris a ars odata o padure cand facea experimente cu apa. Chuck Norris e cunoscut pentru modestia lui, dar recunoaste ca este a 8a minune a lumii. ) iubesc bancurile cu chuck norris
ieih Posted February 5, 2008 Posted February 5, 2008 Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium. Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life." If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period. Chuck Norris is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Chuck Norris does not swim. This is because when Chuck Norris enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Chuck Norris simply walks across the pool floor. Chuck Norris proved that we are alone in the universe. We weren't before his first space expedition. Superman once watched an episode of Walker, Texas Ranger. He then cried himself to sleep. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris does not "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up. The last thing you hear before Chuck Norris gives you a roundhouse kick? No one knows because dead men tell no tales. Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children. Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris" Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday. Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in "I hope I don't get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris."
Flake Posted March 25, 2008 Posted March 25, 2008 acum am gasit asta :D http://clients.arranschlosberg.com/chuck/ prea tare... dati search pe google find chuck norris .. then Click I`m feeling lucky/Ma simt norocos . :D
laptic Posted April 15, 2008 Posted April 15, 2008 Chuck Norris, o-necat odat-un peste! Chuck Norris nu merge la concert, concertu vine la Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris nu asculta muzica, muzica il asculta pe Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris foloseste prezervativul invers, ca sa simta el placerea! De ce purtau pilotii kamikaze casca? Le era frica de Chuck Norris!
Guest buddy Posted May 14, 2008 Posted May 14, 2008 Chuck Norris pe Google: http://clients.arranschlosberg.com/chuck/index.htm
